There is something to be said about losing a close family member, and it is usually something like "it gets better" or "they are in a better place" or something to that nature. But for the person who is actually experiencing it, we usually have a different take on it. It never really goes away or leaves you. That person's existence and connection with us remains in our hearts forever. Our life is never the same without that person around, and we just have to learn to deal with it and move on.
I personally have lost a lot of close family members in my life, but the one that holds true and dear to my heart is the loss of my mother. My brief memory of her lives in my heart and mind through stories, pictures, home videos and some of her personal belongings. I was only 10 years old when she passed, and it hasn't really gotten any easier. Maybe because I was so young, or maybe it was because she was such an amazing person, or maybe it's because everyone says how much I remind them of her as I get older... whatever the reason, she is still very close to my heart. And my heart still hurts without her here by my side.
But this blog post isn't about me and my personal experience of having that void in my life. Today's post is about the things I hold close to me to make it all ok. I have some of my mother's jewelry that I keep in a jewelry box. This jewelry is a constant reminder for me about her interests, sense of style, her personality, and what was dear to her. It tells a story, and in a way it helps me feel like I can connect with her still today. On the days I miss her the most, I will wear one of her necklaces. And as minor as this seems, it helps me tremendously in a way I can't really describe.
I've never talked to a shrink, or had any professional advice or counseling on how to cope with a loss in the family. So maybe my means of coping is not "healthy" or maybe it is. Who knows. All I know is it's the small things like this that can make a difference in someone's world. My mother has been gone for 22 years, but I love her so much for being the best mother she could be to me while she was alive. And I am so grateful for the time that she was in my life.
Nobody is perfect, and we all have problems or issues that we need to work out with certain people.. but please remember that we are not on this Earth for very long. And while we are here let's try to make an impact on someone's life.. or everyone's life for that matter. Try to love all those that surround you, because they won't always be there. Any act of kindness can go a long way, so please take a moment to step outside of yourself and reach out to someone else with love and compassion. This advice I offer to you are the beliefs I have tried to live by, and to help me cope with the losses in my life. If you love someone more than anything else in the world, please give them a reminder. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. Much love to all of you. -Lorel